Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Sleep (venting)

I was 110% prepared for being a sleep deprived zombie woman for the first 6 monthes or so of this baby's life. I'm doing remarkably well!!!! Not a zombie at all and surviving on one short nap a day for the most part. I've actually only cried twice since this kid was born and it was other people being in bad moods that pushed me over the edge to tears.

So, the other day I said "I need a nap" or something to that affect and my grandma said "Why are you tired??". She was dead serious.





That actually made me have two feelings; first, failure. I felt she was saying I was failing because I was tired.

Second, anger. Why SHOULDN'T I BE TIRED!!?? I have a husband who returned to work and refuses to help with any overnight baby care unless it is an absolute emergency meltdown. In fact, he doesn't even sleep in the same room as me and the baby. He's headed out of state tomorrow and Thursday. So I have to feed, change, and re-put to sleep by myself. Here is a sample of my feeding log. The times are when feedings start:

8:30 pm
10:30 pm
12:15 am
1:45 am
4:15 am
5:15 am
6:30 am
9:30 am

Now, most nights aren't that crazy, but that sort of crazy can happen. And Blaine can want "pillow bounced" for an hour and a half at a time while refusing to go to sleep after eating resulting in the next feeding arriving without getting to sleep at all. People wonder why I try to keep that kid awake during the day. LOL. If I can successfully keep him awake a lot of daytime hours, I am lucky sometimes to get a 4 hour stretch at night between feedings!! YAY!

BUT I TOTALLY EXPECTED THIS!! I was prepared for this. I was actually prepared for worse than this. He is a better baby than I ever had imagined.

In summary: I don't appreciate people acting like tiredness is a weakness. I am not "frontier woman" like all the rest of the women in my family.


Now that that is off my chest, I wanted to report in that I dug potatoes with the baby in the carrier today (quite a challenge) and I jogged "a tad" during my walk with the running stroller (don't tell the doctor!).

2 weeks and 2 days postpartum: 10 lbs still to lose and old pants no where close to fitting!!


Down On The Farm said...

This is why mothers tell their daughters "DON'T BE IN A HURRY TO HAVE KIDS" LOL!!! Seriously, it will get better! As to the husband not helping, welcome to the club. 90% of my friends, myself included, got very little help with their babies, especially at night. I nursed until I went back to work then brought out the bottles. I don't require a lot of sleep, but I can't function on 2 or 3 hours. Bottom line, ya do what ya gotta do and don't let ANYBODY make you feel bad! Honestly, I don't know why some women INSIST on saying things that just plain aren't nice! I know you are doing a GREAT JOB as a mom! Hang in there. As a mother of two, ages 17 and 14, I can PROMISE you I would do it all over again [but I'm sure glad I don't have to :)]!!!! Enjoy every second. One day very soon Blaine will be taller than you and you will wish you could bounce him on a pillow.

Erika Jean said...

You have EVERY right to be tired! Sounds like you need to find a cousin or neighbor or someone, old enough to watch the baby for a couple hours while you have some YOU time. Go grocery shopping, take a nap... You deserve some time! :-)

Kate said...

I agree - you're doing a great job and you have every right to be tired... Try not to let it get to you!

Peggy said...

You should be tired! As time goes on going without sleep gets harder so you need to nap during the day. Let someone watch him between feedings so you can get some sleep during the day too. Don't try to be a super Mom. It is too hard to do without enough sleep. It will get better but you need to take care of yourself too.

Shannon said...

How could you not be tired! You're doing a great job. Iwould be frustrated too if people were insinuating that I shouldn't be tired. Hang in there. :)

basebell6 said...

I'm actually doing great!! I hope this post did not come across as me complaining about being a mom or complaining about my husband (he is actually being super dad). And I'm definitely not complaining about my baby; he is great and I love pillow bouncing him. haha. I simply was declaring my "right to be tired without being judged". LOL.

Heather said...

The other thing to remember is that your body is still healing. There is a reason maternity leave is 6 weeks...ok it should be longer but we won't go there. Your body isn't back to itself. So yes tired! It takes energy to heal.

Anonymous said...

Your baby is beautiful! I loved breastfeeding my daughter and am due in Jan. with my second and hope I am able to breastfeed this one for at least a year like I did my daughter. One thing that helped the sleep a lot was learning to nurse laying down. Once baby and you get the hang of nursing play around with laying on your side and having the baby nurse. Once I learned to do this it was so nice. I could get her up at night to feed and lay in bed and close my eyes while she nursed. It did not cure the whole getting up what seems like 100 times at night to feel little one but it helped to be able to rest some while doing it. Keep up the great work Mommy!

basebell6 said...

Thanks! I actually love love LOVE nursing laying down! And dont tell the SIDS police this but a few times I've woken up an hour later and been like "why is this baby beside me?". LOL. What has helped immensely is learning how to keep the kid awake from 6 pm - 9 pm because that results in him sleeping at night instead of having "awake periods" at 2 AM. haha.