I felt bad video taping this but honestly, we will look back and laugh at this kid one day. I NEVER REALIZED A 10 MONTH OLD COULD HAVE SUCH A TEMPER AND BE SO OPINIONATED! I literally set him down for 5 seconds to grab something I couldn't reach while holding him. This is the result.
Funny but frustrating! This kid pretty much will "turn it off" the minute you pick him back up. He cries like this EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I have to make dinner or do the dishes! Gah. People try to tell me it is one of these reasons:
A) He's the first child thus
B) We spoil him by holding him too much
C) He always gets his way because I'm a stay-at-home mom
or
D) He's got a redhead's personality
----
It is pretty much my goal in life to NOT raise a spoiled child. By how did I go wrong so soon? Just by holding him and cuddling with him too much?!! Will he outgrow this?! It is really hard to get things done when he's screaming his head off. He won't sit in shopping carts, strollers [for more than 10 minutes], playground swings, highchairs in restaurants, or carseats [for more than 10 minutes] without THROWING A FIT.
Help!!
11 comments:
My guess would be B, but of course you hold him and cuddle with him with the best of intentions!
Now, I'm just a nanny - not a mom... but I've watched a couple of kids from newborns to toddlers.... my advice would be to...
*Don't give him that much attention when he starts throwing a fit like that ;-P That just shows him he can demand attention from you just by screaming his head off. Stop you from doing whatever you were doing to attend to him...
I don't know if throwing the fits in the chairs is related to that or not - could be. I have a friend that swears when her son is doing that it is because he's strapped in and doesn't like that part of it.
As for me... I'll often strap baby in the highchair and bring it over to the sink while doing dishes and whatnot. That way baby feels "involved" and what not- has something to watch. Try giving him a "new" toy to discover, like a big plastic spoon or spatula (if you trust him with the ends).
Pretty sure he will outgrow it as well ;-) You're lucky though - his scream doesn't seem too loud and piercing! (though I'm sure heart breaking for any momma!)
Sorry I rambled a bit!
I don't know if you read Happiest Baby on the Block, but the same guy has a book/DVD called Happiest Toddler on the Block for kids 9mos+. I haven't read it, but Happiest Baby worked like a wonder for us so I'd be interested to see what he says.
http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Toddler-Block-Cooperative-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422
Good luck!
and just be cause you hold your child "too much" does not mean he's spoiled - just LOVED ;-P
oh, gosh! they sure do know how to turn on the drama. i'd guess he's too young still to be spoiled. just likes to be held and be in the middle of things.
We have the same issue, turn Blaine into a girl and that display is my daughter...and she'll do it until she gets her way unless you can distract her otherwise. She only does it with me, and I'm not a stay at home mom so it's not that. I try and walk away from her at home when she throws a fit like that, in the store when shes strapped into a cart and doesn't want to be I have to distract her with food or she screams to be picked up.
I've noticed lately shes been incredibly 'mommy' clingy, I'm hoping its just a phase as she doesn't do these things with anyone but me.
Oh my! I have no advice...I'm at a total loss! He loves his mommy so much!
Though, someone mentioned the "Happiest Baby..." books above. I swore by it for getting Casey to nap, so maybe it would be a good read for this too?
Aaah! Good luck!
My baby does the EXACT same thing, so if you're doing something wrong, we are too. I assume it's just her personality and I don't worry about it. As she gets older, she won't want to be held as much, so eventually the problem will solve itself.
Wes is doing the same thing right now. I can't help but laugh. So dramatic! He'll grow out of it :)
My boy is 9.5 months and he will often start to whine/cry as soon as I put him down lately. The way I avoid this is that when I put him down, I will sit down with him on the floor, play for a minute or two and get his attention with some toy or something until he's engaged and then slowly roll away and get up. Often too, it takes putting him in a new spot to discover a new area that he doesn't normally play in (he's not walking so there are tons of places yet to be discovered) and that way he will have a change of scenery for a few minutes. I know what you mean how they only do it with Mom.
Honestly, I think that it's temperment. I knew from when my son was a newborn that he wasn't going to be an "easy" baby and it's just something that has nothing to do with parenting. I was just saying yesterday that I was fearing the "terrible two" already to be setting in at 9 months! Like how is that possible?! I did read Karp's "Happiest Toddler" book and while I do think his ideas and theories are good, I can't help but smirk with the idea of applying them to real life, but we shall see!
I hope I'm not too controversial or anything (this tends to be an attribute of mine generally) but here's what I do....
discipline.
I figure if my child is old enough to know how to manipulate me then he is old enough to learn that it's not acceptable. About a month and a half ago I started doing little swats on his hand in tandem with the word 'no'. I use the spanking right now only for boundary definition (if he gets into something he knows he shouldn't) and for fits. He used to through a fit every time I put him in the highchair and every time I put him on the changing table. Now? ZERO fits. If he starts a fit, now all I have to do is say 'no' and he knows what that means.
Anyway, I know we've talked about this before, but it really does work! Kids will be kids!
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time putting him down. And I know how heartbreaking it is to think that maybe you've spoiled him. I'm not at that stage yet so I have no words of advice. Only encouragement. Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure it'll be right for him because you know him best! I think it could be temperament as some children seem not to have this and others seem to. But I think you're doing a fabulous job. Is there such thing as cuddling too much? If so, I am guilty too!
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