Well I got my period this week for only the 2nd time since getting pregnant in Oct 2009. And the first time it was so light it didn't really count. Well this time it returned with a vengence. Stomachaches, cramps like no tomorrow, and it is very heavy. I think the hormones have done a number on me because I've already cried twice today and I never really cry.
I'm sort of upset with it returning because my mom always says it is based on how much baby is nursing from you; and trust me Blaine nurses a lot. He has never even had an ounce of formula in his life and he is 17 lbs.
Tiredness is getting to me. Husband being gone all the time is getting to me. He is out of state for the 3rd time in the last 4 weeks. Last night I got mad at him because he hung up the phone so he could go to sleep at 9 pm. Seriously?
First off baby officially will not sleep more than 3 consectutive hours at night. I'm up 5 or 6 times a night with him. The sleep regression started around Christmas and I'm not sure how much more I can take. He has never slept all night long yet and I hate reading about babies that do. I have a friend who did the "cry it out" method to stop night wakenings and after 4 nights her daughter wasn't waking up anymore. That is sounding more and more appealing every day. However, listening to him cry for an hour, six separate times each night; don't think I can handle that!
But my concern is, how do you tell if the baby really needs you when waking up at night?
This morning baby woke up at 6:40 AM still crying with exhaustion and I looked at the clock, exhaused myself, and realized when I'm back to teaching in 2 years I'D ALREADY BE AT SCHOOL AT 6:40 AM and then I broke down in tears. I really don't want the next year and a half to be plagued with the dark cloud of impending doom (ie returning to work). But it just got to me today.
Flash forward to 10:00 AM. Baby is really realllly needing a nap and again all methods are failing (nursing, rocking, swaying, carrying, singing). I cry again. Finally just bundle him up and take him outside to the greenhouse. His new happy place. He stares at plants and laughs at the flowers and really calms down. Bring him in and he falls asleep. Gah.
So yeah, there you have it, motherhood is not all giggles and smiles! Not that I thought it would be, but still. :)