Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Today my job (you know the one I dont even go to) made me cry

Well I got my period this week for only the 2nd time since getting pregnant in Oct 2009. And the first time it was so light it didn't really count. Well this time it returned with a vengence. Stomachaches, cramps like no tomorrow, and it is very heavy. I think the hormones have done a number on me because I've already cried twice today and I never really cry.

I'm sort of upset with it returning because my mom always says it is based on how much baby is nursing from you; and trust me Blaine nurses a lot. He has never even had an ounce of formula in his life and he is 17 lbs.

Tiredness is getting to me. Husband being gone all the time is getting to me. He is out of state for the 3rd time in the last 4 weeks. Last night I got mad at him because he hung up the phone so he could go to sleep at 9 pm. Seriously?

First off baby officially will not sleep more than 3 consectutive hours at night. I'm up 5 or 6 times a night with him. The sleep regression started around Christmas and I'm not sure how much more I can take. He has never slept all night long yet and I hate reading about babies that do. I have a friend who did the "cry it out" method to stop night wakenings and after 4 nights her daughter wasn't waking up anymore. That is sounding more and more appealing every day. However, listening to him cry for an hour, six separate times each night; don't think I can handle that!

But my concern is, how do you tell if the baby really needs you when waking up at night?

This morning baby woke up at 6:40 AM still crying with exhaustion and I looked at the clock, exhaused myself, and realized when I'm back to teaching in 2 years I'D ALREADY BE AT SCHOOL AT 6:40 AM and then I broke down in tears. I really don't want the next year and a half to be plagued with the dark cloud of impending doom (ie returning to work). But it just got to me today.

Flash forward to 10:00 AM. Baby is really realllly needing a nap and again all methods are failing (nursing, rocking, swaying, carrying, singing). I cry again. Finally just bundle him up and take him outside to the greenhouse. His new happy place. He stares at plants and laughs at the flowers and really calms down. Bring him in and he falls asleep. Gah.

So yeah, there you have it, motherhood is not all giggles and smiles! Not that I thought it would be, but still. :)

12 comments:

Kate said...

Ugh... I'm so sorry you'r having a tough time. I wish I could provide some insight, but I don't have anything worthwhile.

The only thing I can suggest is the CIO method - the boys had a little tiff w/ C two nights ago (it was his turn to get up) and he got mad (after 6 trips back to their room between 12 and 3:30), shut the door to their room and ours and came to bed. That was around 3:30 or 4; at 5:45 when I went to take a shower they were sleeping soundly. Last night, we didn't have to get up at all. I doubt there's any longevity - it's probably just dumb luck...

I don't have the willpower to do it at all - if I can hear them cry I have to go to them... He's much tougher than I am!

I wish I were closer so I could take him for a night and you could sleep!

Abby said...

:( I'm sorry you're having a rough day. The period on top of things doesn't help. I don't know how we got so lucky with the night sleeping, but I'm definitely there with you on the daytime naps. I think I cry at least once a day from it. I try the CIO method and he just keeps going. No let up. I finally posted something to my Meetup Moms group because I'm desperate for even a half hour to myself during the day. They suggested letting him sleep in a swing. We shall see.

Anyhow, just wanted to let you know you're not alone in this. Somewhere in another part of the country another mommy is crying too. :)

Tammy said...

Oh so frustrating! I'm so sorry!!! Hope he out grows that fast!!

Theresa E. said...

That's rough :( I know with Alanna, we started learning her cries after a while. She'd cry a certain way depending on what she needed so if she woke up at night with a certain cry, we'd know to leave her lay there and she would go back to sleep - or if she woke up with a different cry, it meant she needed changed. Not really sure how much that'll help you, but that was our experience with her.

Jill said...

Ugh, you poor thing, you're exhausted. I know some kids just don't get the sleep thing down. It's always something I guess - for you sleeping and for us eating/pooping. Good luck! Have you thought about consulting a baby sleep expert? I don't know anything about it but I've heard there are people who will come to your house to help. I don't like cry it out either but I have done it and maybe it's worth a try?

I did it last night and my plan was to go in after 5-10 mins (she was really wailing) pick her up to comfort her, then I laid her down, gave her a paci, stroked her hair and told her goodnight. I planned to have to do it multiple times but I was lucky and it only took once (I know, I'm sorry to admit that to you). Other times it has taken more tries though.

Kara said...

I'm sorry that you're having a tough time! Lack of sleep is so hard :( We do cry it out, but my baby never cries for more than 10 min (except for the first 2 nights). I hope things get better for you!

Kirby and Anna said...

Gosh, I'm sorry to read about your frustration. I only wish I could say something that would help you feel better. I know things will settle down soon... they have to right?! You'll be able to look back and realize how much stronger you are from it all.

readingmom said...

I just took my son to his 9-month well child visit, and the doctor said that at six months babies can physically sleep through the night becasue their livers make sugars to keep them from starving (same for adults). I'm still working on getting my son to sleep for longer than 3 or 4 hour stretches. He did for about a month when he was 2.5 months old and then quit. I haven't tried to sleep train him since he does nap well and is overall very happy (I'm not a fan of CIO but think I'll resort to it very soon), so it's probably my fault he doesn't sleep through the night. Anyway, my original point is that I think if your baby isn't teething or sick, he shouldn't need you during the night. Exactly how many hours "during the night" is, I don't know, but by his age I think it's at least 5 or 6.
And my husband isn't even gone often but when he gets home late, it makes the day seem sooooo long. What yours did with turning off his phone sounds like something my husband would do!

Kari said...

((HUGS))My baby isn't sleeping through the night and my hubby leaves for work alot too(5 days straight last week) and by the time he gets home I am ready for full on meltdown. I feel all of your pain. I haven't tried CIO, when he cries for 5 minutes I cry too so I don't think CIO would work for us. I hope you find something that helps you get B sleeping. As for your period, there's moms on my mom's board who are full time extended nursers-like still nursing their 3 year olds, who got their periods back 6 weeks postpartum so I think it's an old wive's tale about nursing ensuring your period will stay away. It seems to for some people but not everyone.

Shamnon said...

Oh, I'm sorry! And to have to do it on your own so much! We are trying to wean Noah James from his swaddle the last couple of nights. We've left one arm our only. The rest of him is all wrapped up. you'd think we had turned him on his head to see him trying to sleep with one arm out. We're pretty tired too. But no where near as tired as I would be Ono were alone with him at night. Hang in there. we all sympathize!

Kalie said...

Sorry, I didn't realize you were having such a rough day when I saw you! I really hope he starts sleeping better soon. Try not to stress about going back to work...not yet at least. Just see how your pumpkin selling experiment goes this year.

Tara said...

Oh, I totally hear you. We still do a lot of night wakings and fussy days here too. It is off and on. Hang in there. And for the record, I don't think the CIO method works for all babies--I know parents who diligently tried it and just ended up with a screaming infant for hours, and their nerves wrecked. Babies need their mamas. Just love on little Blaine--before you know it he is going to be all big and independent.

ps. I got my AF back 4 months after having baby, and you should see how much Sadie eats--she already weighs over 20lbs. I think some people are just unlucky like that.