Friday, August 19, 2011

Sleep Deprivation...It's for Real!

I haven't made a post about Blaine and his sleep because I just sort of decided he sucks at sleeping and there was no point to writing about it. I've been trudging along in my sleep deprived state for 13 months now.

When I had a baby I was prepared to "be a zombie for 6 months". I thought that would be an overestimate. I'm the type of person who REALLY NEEDS SLEEP. During the school year I'd go to bed at 9:30 pm to make a comparison. I'm the type of person who literally feels like throwing up and gouging my eyes out if up past 11 pm. I'd be a great companion to New Yrs Eve parties. ;)

So despite reading 5 sleep books, trying CIO since April, we still have nights of 7 wakeups at times. Teething? Molars? Growth Spurt? Bad dreams? Too hot? Too cold? SO MANY FRICKIN VARIABLES.

I hear about other babies [of my friends and on blogs] who have slept great since birth it seems. Ask them what they did and they say "nothing". "Just lucky I guess".

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LUCKY YOU ARE.

I know this though: My husband was in California for 2 weeks and he thought it would be a great marriage strengthening decision to go on a 4 day fishing trip with his brother this week.

WHEN ALL I NEED IS SOME HELP AND SOME TIME TO SLEEP.

I was pissed. He knew I was pissed. He went anyway.

I'm about to lose my exhausted mind. I'm literally so tired I feel like barfing and wonder if sleep deprivation could possibly lead to an early death.

I'm not looking for advice on how to get Blaine to sleep or any "oh I'm sorry" type of comments, I just want some people to tell me that they are in the same boat. And not everyone is "just lucky" with their sleepers!

PS When do I get to get away for 3 weeks and leave husband at home with a baby who doesn't sleep?

24 comments:

Melissa said...

I know! Isabelle is ONE and still wakes up everynight and then is up for good at 6am. I get so mad when I tell people this and they act like I MUST be doing something wrong, because their perfect, angel baby slept all night at a month old. I've tried it all! Maybe they'll be easier in the teenage years:) Payback's in order right?!

Nikki said...

I definitely know what you mean!! I hate it when people act like it's MY fault that Evie doesn't sleep through the night. My mom is the biggest culprit of this...it makes me crazy!

Casey said...

I am so sorry you are feeling this way and so sorry that Blaine isn't sleeping :( I don't have anything to offer but some sympathy... hope it gets better!!

Tara said...

Sadie isn't really a champion sleeper either. She never has been. She still wakes up wanting to nurse multiple times a night. Its funny, because she has been doing this for awhile, but it seems like somehow the fatigue of it all has really set in lately. Just this week I was telling my husband how I would just kill for one (one!) night of good, uninterrupted sleep. I wish there was some magical solution, but I think some babies are just more restless at night. Hang in there, they have to grow out of it eventually, right? (That is what I keep telling myself.)

Shannon said...

I just got done feeling sorry for myself because my husband went away for 4 days, I can't imagine 2 weeks, then another 4 days on top of it! My 11 month old still doesn't always sleep through, and he's up by 6 either way, and naps are hard won, often in the car. I have to get up for work at 3:40 am, so staying up til 10 trying to get him to sleep makes for a rough day! I keep trying to picture him as a teenager sleeping til noon. It's only another 12 years off, right? Hang in there, they will learn to sleep eventually!

basebell6 said...

ah yes, see you guys are making me feel better!!

1) blaine doesnt get up at 6 (thank goodness!! i'd DIE!) and
2) if i had to get up at 3:40 am for work i would definitely die! kuddos to you!!!

Angie All The Way said...

God love ya. Cameron went to 8 months with the every 2 hour wakeups and I answered to every frigging one of them on my own and I think the degree of sleep deprivation I felt kind of traumatized me. I've been through some pretty tough things in my life and a high speed head on collision with a drunk driver that broke my hip, foot among other things was one of them and I can honestly say that sleep deprivation takes the cake. It's torture. Cameron was so bad that he literally wouldn't sleep unless he was in my arms and usually attached to my boob. Some miracle happened around 8 mths and he started sleeping but I still let him go to sleep in my arms.

I could not imagine what kind of state I would be in if it was going on as long as it has for you. Big giant hugs to you!! :-(

That husband is one brave dude!!

Elizabeth said...

I know you aren't looking for sympathy, but I'm going to give it to you anyway. I am so, so sorry. I am EXACTLY the same way- 10:00 is my absolute limit for staying up- it's been YEARS since I stayed up to watch the NY ball drop!

Ok, you MUST have a conversation with your husband. That is unacceptable. I just had to have a "talk" with R a few weeks ago- basically if I didn't get all the crap out that I was feeling, I would have killed him. For real. As my counselor said, he was around for the fun of conception, so now he has to be around to parent and help out too.

Peggy said...

You need help and sleep. At least Heather and I could share and take turns sleeping. Still sometimes she has to bring Ian over so she can nap. Somebody owes you some time.

Kristin {Sea Cow Circus} said...

{{Hugs}}

I hope Blaine has a magic switch that flips soon for you and all of the variables fly out the window so you can get some well-deserved rest.

Ditch the hubster for a few days and come to Florida :) Bring Blaine - we'll have my husband watch the babies and you and I can go pass out on the beach :)

Mama G said...

I'm sorry, Momma. I hope it gets better soon <3

Erika Jean said...

Sounds like it is time to hire a babysitter or get Blaine grandma and grandpa over for a little play time so you can rest!! Or just guilt trip one of your friends into coming over sou you can snooze for a couple hours ;-)

Kara said...

I feel the same way when my husband takes business trips to Europe and I'm here in rural town with a baby, and I get sleep!

I know you've probably past the point that this will help, but when we have rough nights, I always tell myself that one day she will only want to sleep (when she's a teenager) and I'm going to wake her up early on the weekends for no reason. Bwahahahaha

Nancy said...

I'm so sorry! I hope the sleeping gets better. My daughter still wakes up anywhere from 2-6 times a night and I can understand how exhausting it can be.

Megan said...

yep yep yep. I am in the same boat. My little one will be one in less than a week, and she still doesn't fall asleep on her own, doesn't sleep on her own, and doesn't sleep through the night. It is a full time job to facilitate her sleeping. So yes, I understand.

I breastfeed, so I have taken the "easy way out" by letting her sleep in my bed, and learning to fall asleep with mommy cuddles. That easy way out is definitely not easy anymore lol.

Hang in there!

Stacy said...

We had the exact same fight during snowmobile season. J and I were sick, and Hubs had a snowmobile trip planned and I begged him to stay and he went anyway. That was also at the height of our sleep deprivation. I seriously considered packing up our stuff and being gone when he came back. Men are so unbelievably dense it kills me sometimes. You have every right to be furious, and every right to feel as desperate as you do about the level of sleep deprivation you are at. But you are an amazing mama and you are so strong and Blaine is so lucky to have you! I often joke that when J is a teenager who wants to sleep all day I"m going to start making him work off all those hours of sleep deprivation he put me through by busting into his room at 6 am and saying "hey buddy, you owe me 5656473839 hours of sleep, time to get up!" ;-)

Hang in there, I am thinking of you.

Diana @ frontyardfoodie said...

Oh I feel your pain sister. Although Avery now sleeps through the night (finally) there was quite a period where he was eating five times a night plus who knows what else. I could never figure it out.WHY ARE YOU AWAKE!? What do you want?!!?!?

Well I'll just tell you what I did....and prepare yourself because I had three nights from PURE HELL before it worked but it did work and he hasn't woken up at night since.

Basically I got to the point where you are, just so totally fed up and when he wanted night time attention like nursing I simply said no, laid him down in bed and left the room. He screamed, he temper tantrumed and what not and every time his crying when from rage to something a little less intense I'd go back in, lay him down and say 'go to sleep baby', kiss him, and leave again. Naturally, he'd throw another fit, scream, cry, be angry and when he would come off the peak I'd go back in and do the same thing. Trust me, eventually they do tire themselves out. After three nights of intense fights it was over, I won. He now doesn't make a PEEP all night and sleeps seriously, for thirteen hours every single night. I wonder to myself, why the hell didn't I do this months ago? It's a good question....but I have no answer. I just know that when I finally hit rock bottom I did what I had to do to remain sane. I hope this helps. ha

kkiirrti said...

Being a grad student, I m used to not sleeping enough. But not sleeping enough for 1 year and 9 months is taking a toll even on me. I used to pee every 2 hrs through out the day since I got pregnant. And now Eera wants to play with momma in the day and wakes every 2-3 hrs for feeding. Add to it the molars, canines and the cold.
I also got a PhD thesis to finish.

I don't know what I can do, except allowing the nature to take its own course.
But I m tired.

Susan said...

Our younger daughter was referred to by relatives as the "Baby From Hell" because of her lack of sleep and unrelenting colic, but she grew into the most easy-going, calm, good-natured child. So hang on. When she was a toddler, I would often lie down exhaustedly on her floor at nap time and wake up an hour later to find her still fully awake, playing around me. I learned to always make sure the door was closed and the room safe.

Janelle said...

I'm so sorry. I know exactly where you are at. 13 months was the time Austin started to finally sleep through the night...incidentally the same time he weened himself? I don't know. Would your mom be better at baby sleeping boot camp than you? She finally got Wes to sleep through the night for me, while we were in China. He was early, at 10 months (ha!)
Good luck! And tell Nick he most certainly owes you massively...

Amanda said...

Oh I hear ya girl! I am doing 5-6 times a night with my babe, nursing. I don't understand. She is waking up more than every two hours just to munch. Why can't she eat more during the day? Oh sleep, you fickle friend. I hope someone comes and relieves you so you can sleep and dream uninterrupted for a little while. xoxo

Bill said...

Oh, thank god. I thought I was the only one. Sammy will sleep maybe once a week for 5 hours straight, and the rest of the week it's completely random. And there's absolutely NO CONSISTENCY. We've tried all the methods, but I think he just needs to grow up so he can tell us what is wrong with him.

Colleen Hyman said...

You obviously got a lot of responses from this post. I haven't had a chance to read them.

If it will make you feel better, I spent 4 years of interrupted sleep and I so know what sleep deprivation can do to a person. Make you "mad", essentially. I am so like you, I need sleep or I am just a mess.

It will eventually get better. Just when you don't expect it to, it will change 180 degrees. In the meantime, just try and get rest when you can. If your son naps, nap when he does and don't feel guilty about it!

Hang in there!

Craftmatic said...

I have been through the same situation and admit feeling cranky at times when I lack sleep. What my mother told was when the baby falls asleep I should also get some sleep and schedule doing laundry and house cleaning. Hope this helps.